SUPPORT FOR MOTHERS
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Have a look at my Facebook or Instagram pages for more on therapy and mothering:
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Why do I support mums?
I am a mother myself and I found that I encountered a lot of emotional challenges in the transition to motherhood. Everything from your body to relationships to your very sense of identity can be utterly changed and challenged by the experience of being a mother. The feelings around this can be intense - anxiety, rage, sadness, fear and many others in between. Or on the flip side there may be a numbness, or a feeling of an absence of something important.
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In our society women are somehow expected to cope with the changes traumas and responsibilities that motherhood brings, often with very little emotional support. The reality of being a mum can feel so far away from the picture perfect ideals that are often painted. It's so easy to feel like you are getting it all wrong or that you aren't good enough. Negative thoughts can become overwhelming. I want to support you through this time, and to help you process some of the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing.
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Trauma and Mothering
When we think about trauma we don't always put it together with the experience of mothering, but actually a lot of the experiences that are often seen as 'normal' parts of motherhood can actually be really traumatic to go through. Most often it is not just one thing, but a series of things that all affect and influence each other and can leave mums understandably struggling to cope. Importantly it is not just experiences after your child is born, but even before they are conceived, that might be considered traumatic or extremely challenging. Things like:
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- sickness mums experience in pregnancy
- pregnancy complications
- struggles to conceive
- an unwell baby (in pregnancy or after birth)
- birth trauma
- physical pain or bodily changes after birth
- premature birth
- sleep deprivation
- coping with a 'high needs' baby or child
- feeding problems
- lack of support
- the weight of responsibility of being a mother
- hormonal changes
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This is just a short list, and sometimes there won't be obvious 'problems' that you can easily identify but the overwhelming feelings, or experience of emotional numbness, might still be there. I will help to support you with the aim of listening to you and not judging or minimising your experience, and also safely processing any traumas you have experienced.
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If you feel, for whatever reason, that you need your pre-crawling baby to be with you in your counselling session I am open to this and happy to discuss it further with you.
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Time for You, Time to Heal
You might keep hearing how important it is to have some time just for you to focus on yourself and your own needs, but it can feel impossible to know how to get this time or where to access some much needed emotional support. It might also feel like you don't deserve to have that time for you, or that in asking for help you have failed in some way.
You might not believe it now, but asking for help really is a strength, and you can't give from an empty cup. Looking after yourself and your mental health is just as important as looking after your child.
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Local Free Services
In Bristol there are some good services for mothers that offer free support, two of these are Bluebell Care and Mothers for Mothers. If you are looking for free support these or your GP are a good place to start.
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